Children from past relationships can be resentful of a new person coming into their life and may even see it as a possible threat to their own relationship with their parent. They may think that they are going to be marginalised and no longer will they be the centre of their parent's life. It is not unusual to see temper tantrums at this stage or children wanting to isolate themselves and not want to participate in any part of the celebrations.
Don't worry, this is a very normal situation and children frequently need time to adjust. It is not necessarily the fact that they don't like you, it might be more of a case of thinking that they are going to lose the closeness that they have with their parent and this in itself is causing them anxiety. So it is important to give them reassurance that things may not be exactly the same but your relationship with them is as special as ever.
Tips:
- There may be insecurities to deal with those around you, feelings of disappointment and of no longer being number one in the family.
- Talk to children in a way that they can appreciate. Reassure them that you don't love them any less than before and that your relationship with them won't change but it will grow even more.
- Give them time to adjust and don't rush them and explain to them that they are a vital part of all of your future lives together.
- Future step brothers and sisters maybe very happy for you but on the other hand may have to manage their own feelings of possible resentment and the subsequent feelings of guilt thereafter because they are resenting you and it is not your fault!
- Grow you relationships on a one-to-one basis first before any group conversations take place if you possibly can.
If you are having relationship difficulties surrounding your forthcoming marriage and feel you need relationship advice and support please do call Carole for a FREE, confidential 15 minute consultation. It helps to talk so do call on: 020 8954 1593 or email her at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. can.
