You may see yourself as a perfectionist and you may be, but that doesn't mean that your partner is the same as you. It certainly doesn't make you right and them wrong and vice versa but it can seem like it when something is not done the way that you would do it or think it should be done. However putting your partner down especially in front of other people is just not the right thing to do. You may regard it as a bit of a joke but it may not be accepted as such by your partner In fact it is very likely that they may feel belittled and really hurt.
So it really is time to wise up to this one if you recognise yourself as a perpetual fault finder. Start right now thinking about how you can change and try to lower your expectations of your nearest and dearest.
Tips:
- If your partner keeps finding fault with all you do and puts you down, or demeans you, it is important that you talk about this issue. Yes, it will be a difficult conversations but it is certainly a necessary one.
- Accept that what is important to you is not necessarily the same for your partner.
- You can be a perfectionist but accept that not everyone is the same as you.
- Talk gently to your partner when you feel they are finding fault unnecessarily. Do not overreact but say "I think this is enough for today and let us talk again" and then leave the room. Hopefully, after you've done this a few times, your partner will start to recognise his or her fault finding behaviour.
If you are having trouble adjusting to married life and finding it hard to say exactly how you feeling to your partner, relationship advice and support is at hand. Do call Carole for a FREE, confidential 15 minute consultation. It helps to talk so do call on: 020 8954 1593 or email her at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
