Carole's blog

Relationship Advice: Coming out of your Comfort Zone

19 November 2013 By In Relationship Advice

Planning to get married can bring up new perspectives in your life. All of a sudden you start thinking of yourself as a prospective wife/ husband with all the attendant issues that go with the role. Thoughts of children and becoming a parent flit through your mind– surely you aren't ready for that yet! After all, you only just decided to get married!

But then you start to look at babies in buggies being wheeled down the road and you realise that you are indeed entering a new chapter in your life and it all seems to be happening so quickly!

You now start to do things as a couple mixing more with other couples at the same stage of life as you and conversation suddenly does seem to focus on women being pregnant; men bottle feeding and of course the school run. You sit back and sometimes feel that you are an observer in this conversation but in no time at all you too will be caught up with family life.

Setting up your first home together, caring for each other and the many other responsibilities that come with marriage is a magical time but adjustments will be necessary as you settle into being a couple. You may have relied on your Mum to do your washing and leave it neatly pressed in your room now this task becomes your responsibility to share with your partner. When you come home from work tired and miserable there will not necessarily be a meal ready for you on the table.

You may historically have seen each other at your best you now need to be prepared to see another side of your partner especially when they are tired, under pressure or stressed.

Tips:

  • Getting things out of perspective is quite normal as you are now moving away from your single life to that of a couple.
  • Take it one step at a time. Expect changes to happen to you and deal with them one at a time. Don’t rush!
  • Hold your horses! Slow down and enjoy this new chapter before thinking about the next and the next and the next!
  • Keep on seeing your single friends and do not isolate yourself but be aware that a resolutely independent lifestyle doesn't help the bonding process that is necessary to establish the strong foundations necessary for a good marriage
  • Remember that if you don’t spend time together, you don’t have a relationship.

If you are finding the transition to life as a couple stressful and you are experiencing difficulties saying exactly how you feeling to your partner, relationship advice and support is at hand. Do call Carole for a FREE, confidential 15 minute consultation. It helps to talk so do call on: 020 8954 1593 or email her at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 
Carole Spiers

I am a Relate-trained Integrative counsellor & member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP). Working as a Relationship Advice expert, I appreciate that you maybe going through a rough patch with your partner, spouse or even your children. Let me help you find the key to improving your relationship that will increase your joy & understanding of each other.

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Please feel free to contact me in confidence today

icon-phone Telephone: +44 (0) 20 8954 1593
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Contact Carole

Please feel free to contact me in confidence today

T: +44 (0) 20 8954 1593
E: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Skype: CSG0806
A: 186, Willifield Way, London NW11 6YA

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