Carole's blog

Relationship Advice – Marriage and Cultural Differences

08 December 2013 By In Relationship Advice

Different cultures bring with them their own richness and learning. Not only will you be getting married and that means a new situation for you but you might also be entering into a new family situation with new traditions, ways of living and expectations that need to be realised.

You may think you have an understanding of your fiancée's culture as you have been together for a while but most of your time will probably have been spent as a couple and not with their family and that is a different matter altogether. You may well have spent time popping in and out of their home but not necessarily had any deep meaningful discussions with them about their expectations, hopes and fears.

Every family has their own way of doing things and conducting themselves and this new learning about your partner's family may take a new attitude and mind-set that focuses on valuing and respecting the differences between you all. Getting married can bring cultural differences into sharp focus when it comes to agreeing on the marriage service and it is essential that this is managed with great sensitivity.

Don't forget, your partner's family also have to get used to you being culturally different to them as well. This cultural acceptance and adjustment is not just "one way traffic" and takes working on from both sides.

Tips:

  • Keep an open mind when you are learning about your partner's family and their culture.
  • Just because you do things differently to them doesn't mean that your way is the only way of doing things. Be sure to look for common ground and core values.
  • In order to get along with each other, it is best, in the early stages of your relationship, to sit and discuss some of these issues so that everyone has an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. By doing this, nothing is left unsaid or becomes a 'surprise' nearer to the wedding day.
  • Make a point of studying the culture you are entering into and talk through some of the sensitivities and expectations that come with it. Your willingness to understand and appreciate cultural differences will clearly demonstrate your love and respect for your partner.
  • Do not make assumptions or let cultural stereotypes influence you before you have had time to fully appreciate what is important to your partner and his extended family.

If you need support managing cultural issues in the run up to your marriage or you are experiencing difficulties saying exactly how you feeling to your partner, relationship advice and support is at hand. Do call Carole for a FREE, confidential 15 minute consultation. It helps to talk so do call on: 020 8954 1593 or email her at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 
Carole Spiers

I am a Relate-trained Integrative counsellor & member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP). Working as a Relationship Advice expert, I appreciate that you maybe going through a rough patch with your partner, spouse or even your children. Let me help you find the key to improving your relationship that will increase your joy & understanding of each other.

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Contact Carole

Please feel free to contact me in confidence today

T: +44 (0) 20 8954 1593
E: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Skype: CSG0806
A: 186, Willifield Way, London NW11 6YA

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