Putting on a wedding can be like a military manoeuvre. It needs to be planned with precision to ensure that all goes well on the day. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that a wedding won't all just happen around you.
You need to be in the driving seat and everyone around you needs to know what they are doing, when they are doing it and most importantly how they are going to do it. However, do be very careful to include sensitivity and thoughtfulness in with the planning. Some people can feel that they are being asked to do too much and don't want to let you down and others would love to be asked to do more and are just waiting in the wings for the nod!
With weddings often come big expectations from those around you. Think hard about your own expectations. Then think about whether these expectations and aspirations are really yours or are they coming from others? Is it you who really wants the small intimate wedding or are you just rebelling against the lavish family wedding that your sister had last year?
Do you really want a big meringue wedding dress or is this something that your mother wants you to have as she never had the opportunity to wear one herself? Do you really want to wear a morning suit or is this something more for your father's benefit rather than yours? In fact, would you prefer to wear a lounge suit or if you could really have your way jeans and t-shirt but we won't go there!
Different cultures bring with them their own richness and learning. Not only will you be getting married and that means a new situation for you but you might also be entering into a new family situation with new traditions, ways of living and expectations that need to be realised.
You may think you have an understanding of your fiancée's culture as you have been together for a while but most of your time will probably have been spent as a couple and not with their family and that is a different matter altogether. You may well have spent time popping in and out of their home but not necessarily had any deep meaningful discussions with them about their expectations, hopes and fears.
Planning to get married can bring up new perspectives in your life. All of a sudden you start thinking of yourself as a prospective wife/ husband with all the attendant issues that go with the role. Thoughts of children and becoming a parent flit through your mind– surely you aren't ready for that yet! After all, you only just decided to get married!
But then you start to look at babies in buggies being wheeled down the road and you realise that you are indeed entering a new chapter in your life and it all seems to be happening so quickly!
